Is Self-Disclosure Appropriate for Counselors?
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“When used sparingly, professionally and appropriately, counselor self-disclosure can build trust, foster empathy and strengthen the therapeutic alliance between counselor and client.”
Bethany Bray in Counseling Today (2019)
Counseling is designed to focus on the client’s issues, feelings, thoughts, and experiences. When is self-disclosure okay to use in counseling sessions? Although there are some concerns with self-disclosure, it can be helpful to your client and the therapeutic relationship, when used for the client’s benefit.
Self-disclosure, on the part of the counselor, is a sharing of one’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences with the client. This can be beneficial or harmful depending on its usage. It continues to remain a controversial topic amongst professionals in the field.
Some counselors believe self-disclosure does not need to be avoided out of fear but instead utilized as a powerful intervention when needed. Keep in mind that not all clients will benefit from self-disclosures; it must be applied on a case-by-case basis.
When done appropriately and for the client’s welfare, self-disclosure is considered a beneficial boundary crossing. As with all boundary crossings, self-disclosure should not be used in every session but sparingly and with awareness.
The American Psychological Association states that self-disclosure is
The act of revealing personal or private information about one’s self to other people. In relationship research, self-disclosure has been shown to foster feelings of closeness and intimacy. In psychotherapy, the revelation and expression by the client of personal, innermost feelings, fantasies, experiences, and aspirations is believed by many to be a requisite for therapeutic change and personal growth. Additionally, pertinent revelation by the therapist of his or her personal details to the client can—if used with discretion—be a valuable tool to increase rapport and earn the trust of the client.
Two Types of Therapist Self-Disclosure
According to by Alfi-Yogev et al., 2020:
Immediate Therapist Self Disclosure refers to the expression of therapists’ feelings, thoughts, and opinions toward their clients, the treatment, or the therapeutic relationship in the here and now. (e.g., “In the past few sessions, I have experienced you as more engaged.”)
Non-immediate Therapist Self Disclosure involves revealing information about therapists’ personal life outside of treatment, such as beliefs, values, life events and past experiences. (e.g., “I also struggle with weight loss and dealing with emotional eating is a constant challenge for me as well.”)
The Benefits of Self-Disclosure
Research from Henretty et al., 2014 states,
Counselor Self Disclosure (CSD), overall, had a small but favorable impact on participants. Upon closer examination, we found that clients/participants had favorable perceptions of disclosing counselors and believed themselves more likely to disclose to a disclosing counselor.
When examining particular types of CSD, results suggested that CSD that (a) reveals similarity between the client and counselor; (b) is of negative content valence; or (c) is related to either intra- or extra-therapy experiences, but especially extra therapy experiences, has favorable impacts on clients when compared with nondisclosure. All of these types of disclosure resulted in more favorable perceptions of the counselors, especially in the area of professional attractiveness.
Concerns with Disclosures
If the information the counselor shares does not beneficially support the therapeutic process, the information should not be shared. When counselors share to relieve their stress or burden, it is not appropriate and can damage the therapeutic relationship. Counselors should refrain from talking extensively about their family or significant other issues with their clients. It is appropriate to use a vague example without a name and how the conflict was resolved as a teaching moment.
The biggest risk of self-disclosure is it takes the clients’ attention off of their own goals, thoughts, and feelings. The focus is now on the counselor’s experience. Some clients feel a need to take care of the counselor’s emotions. Clients may repress expressions out of concern that it may upset the counselor.
Thomas G. Gutheil, MD states,
Self-disclosure may facilitate authentic engagement in the therapeutic process in one context, but seductive, coercive or destructive intrusion on a patient in another. The therapist’s sensitivity to the issue of boundary transgression and reliance on the traditional standbys of documentation and consultation provide the greatest security against the potential harmful impacts on patients and preservation of clinical effectiveness.
Unintentional Self-Disclosures
Sometimes a client may discover information about a counselor’s life outside of the office. One example is clients can see their counselors with their families at various public places, such as restaurants and grocery stores.
Clients can uncover details about a counselor’s life from what is in the treatment room. Do you have family photos on your desk? Even innocent items can spark a question from a curious client. On the other side, items can also be used intentionally as a talking point for your session. Again, it is the conscious revealing of information that is tied to therapeutic goals.
Counselors who share private details through interviews or social media can be read by their clients. Natwick, an ethics specialist for the American Counseling Association, states,
If counselors are using social media for professional purposes, they should consider whether self-disclosure on these platforms could potentially be harmful to their clients. There is no way to predict how seeing a counselor’s disclosure online will affect a client. Because online disclosure happens outside of session, there may not be an opportunity for counselors and clients to process this together to ensure that clients are not harmed. This makes online disclosure even more questionable.
Self-Disclosure and Counseling Theories
Some theorists, such as psychoanalysts, may believe that under no circumstances should a counselor share their personal information. Others feel it can build rapport and help normalize a client’s experience. Freud did not encourage self-disclosure within psychoanalysis. Mallow cites, “Self-disclosure, therefore, is the therapist’s need to gratify the patient and/or the therapist’s need to be viewed in a particular way by the patient, detracting from the patient’s experience by focusing upon the therapist instead.”
Some in the field of psychoanalysis have been questioning the strict boundary around self-disclosing. The Psychopathology Committee of the Group for the Advancement of Psychiatry responded,
Consideration of the therapeutic benefits of self-disclosure has been hindered by the association between self-disclosure and flagrant boundary violations. We do not dispute the fact that inappropriate self-disclosure is a component of many harmful boundary violations. However, it is erroneous to conclude that self-disclosure inevitably leads to boundary violations. Such a view has diminished our therapeutic repertoire by limiting the potential benefits of clinician self-disclosure. Psychotherapy research should include the study of self-disclosure as one of the prospective active ingredients of the therapeutic process. In these rapidly changing times, we must be open to addressing the positive aspects of therapist self-disclosure in developing new rules for our new roles.
According to Zur, 2018,
Cognitive, behavioral, cognitive-behavioral, feminist, group, humanistic, feminist and existential therapies all endorse self-disclosure as a way of modeling, offering an alternative perspective, exemplifying cognitive flexibility, creating authentic connections, increasing therapeutic alliance or leveling the playing field.
Cognitive behavioral theorists support appropriate self-disclosures to equal the power differential in therapeutic relationships. Phiri et al., state,
How the therapist responds may be as important as the content of the response. For these clients, small elements of self-disclosure and warmth build trust and the feeling of being respected as equals. After all, the therapist–client relationship in cognitive behavior therapy should be the meeting of two experts, the expert client and the expert practitioner who work collaboratively with the aim of helping the client to understand the development of their problems and develop alternative strategies of reducing distress.
Self-disclosure in feminist therapy can help empower clients. The Feminist Therapy Institute Code of Ethics (1999) states,
A feminist therapist discloses information to the client that facilitates the therapeutic process, including information communicated to others. The therapist is responsible for using self-disclosure only with purpose and discretion and in the interest of the client.
Considerations of Self-Disclosure
Counselors can consider the individual client and their diagnosis before self-disclosing. Will this information benefit them therapeutically? If you are uncertain, ask the following questions to yourself:
- Why is this client asking for information about you?
- Why do you want to share this information with this client?
Supervision can help decide when it is or when it is not appropriate to self-disclose to clients. You can decide if the information has therapeutic value or it is best to explore and validate your client’s curiosity. You want to ensure your clients receive the best care, and that means focusing on their life and experiences.
With experience, supervision, and knowledge of your client, you will know when it is best to disclose, how much to disclose, and when it is best not to disclose.
Lisa Hutchison, LMHC
Writer & Contributing ExpertLisa Hutchison, LMHC, is a licensed mental health counselor for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. She works for professionals who want to treat and prevent compassion fatigue. With over 20 years of psychotherapy experience, she helps her clients assert themselves, set boundaries, and increase their coping skills. Her specialty is decreasing stress, anxiety, and depression while increasing realistic methods of self-care for those who help others. Ms. Hutchison’s psychological advice has been featured in Reader’s Digest and the Huffington Post. Her articles have been published in numerous magazines, including Grief Digest and Today’s Caregiver.
Lisa is the bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and a faculty member writer for NetCE. Her latest continuing education unit publication is “Setting Ethical Limits for Caring and Competent Professionals.” She has taught creative writing in colleges and presented on boundaries for the compassionate helper; the use of expressive art to heal grief, anxiety, and depression; inspirational and motivational topics; and creative writing techniques.