What to Know About Nonverbal Communication and Counseling
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A great deal of communication is determined by what is said and what remains unsaid. Most communication is nonverbal. Learning nonverbal communication as a counseling student and as a professional counselor will improve your counseling outcomes. Counselors use nonverbal communication during periods of silence or while the client is talking. When counselors demonstrate attentiveness nonverbally, it creates a safe space for clients to explore their inner thoughts and feelings.
Remember, not all cultures communicate in the same way. It can be helpful to research your clients’ local customs and traditions to help prevent nonverbal misunderstandings.
Counselor Nonverbal Communication: What Does Your Office Say?
A counselor’s office has many items that communicate to the client. The seating arrangement is important. Some counselors allow clients to sit wherever they prefer, while others point out a designated place to sit.
Proxemics is the study of human space and how it influences human interactions. Seating that is too far apart feels disconnected and makes communication difficult, while seating that is too close creates discomfort and feels awkward.
Is the desk tidy, or does it have papers on it? If there are papers on it, ensure none contain confidential information. Items may also be placed in the office to use as talking points, such as paintings, books, or knick-knacks. Look around your office and at the décor. What does it communicate to your clients?
Client Nonverbal Communication
Upon first meeting your client, you gain insight into their mental health by observing their walk, behavior, hygiene, eye contact, and other nonverbal cues. Changes in these indicators over time inform counselors about the client’s progress or decline in health from one session to the next. Signs of decompensation may include a slower gait, downcast eyes, a disheveled appearance, or decreased hygiene.
At the initial counseling session, counselors observe the client’s body language, listen to their tone of voice, and note any facial expressions. The counselor uses attending behaviors, such as maintaining eye contact, leaning forward slightly, and using encouraging gestures. Also, they examine and interpret how their nonverbal behaviors are affecting the client.
Nonverbal communication must be interpreted in the moment it occurs, looking at multiple levels of meaning. Each culture has different nonverbal communications. For example, some cultures find sitting close to another person comforting, while others feel it is intrusive.
It is best to evaluate a client’s nonverbal behavior over time. Document the client’s baseline behavior in a calm state and when agitated, anxious, or depressed.
Using Nonverbal Communication in Counseling Sessions
Counselors need to become aware of their nonverbal messages and how they impact their clients. There are times counselors send bodily messages of being closed off. Closed postures include crossing the arms or legs, hiding the hands in the pockets, or turning the body away from or leaning back from the client. These postures decrease a client’s feeling of trust and safety.
Counselors use body posture and gestures to communicate during times of silence and when the client is expressing thoughts and feelings. Counselors convey interest by slightly leaning toward the client as they speak. This shows the client the counselor is involved and with them.
Counselors mirror the client’s posture, gestures, and speech. This is known as behavioral mimicry. For example, if the client leans back in the chair in a relaxed posture, the counselor maintains the same posture. This may indicate empathy to the client and help build rapport.
A nod up and down indicates that the counselor is with the client at this moment or agrees with what was said. These gestures communicate an openness for the client to explore their full range of emotions and thoughts, without interruption. A head movement from side to side indicates disagreement with what is said.
Eye contact varies according to cultures and clients. Getting eye contact right takes practice and reading your client in the moment for their level of comfort. Too much eye contact can feel intense or intimidating. Preferred eye contact feels attentive and caring. This helps build rapport. In American culture, eye contact typically indicates you value what the other person is saying.
Touch
The most common use of touch is when you first meet a client. The counselor reaches out to shake the client’s hand. This form of touch, coupled with a warm smile, is used as a welcome and greeting.
Counselors use touch as a technique to demonstrate care. Touch is considered a boundary crossing—a normal departure from standard practice that could benefit the client. A touch on the shoulder or the hand conveys warmth. During a session, a touch on the hand, while a client is grieving or through end-of-life counseling, may be a source of comfort for some people. At the end of a session, a touch on the shoulder indicates, “I am with you; you are not alone.”
Some counselors or clients may end a session with a hug. If a counselor is going to hug a client, it is good practice to ask, “Would you like or want a hug?” When a client unexpectedly hugs a counselor at the end of a session, invite the client to discuss the feelings and meaning of the hug during the next session. Notate in the chart any instances of touch, what the psychological intervention or reasoning is, and the client’s response.
Physical touch during the counseling session is typically not recommended. Many professionals in the field of counseling believe that touch, even when used in a healing manner, could be misinterpreted by the client. As a counselor in a position of power, this may constitute an ethical boundary violation. Many counselors use touch minimally or not at all due to the legal or ethical issues that could arise from it. If you are using touch with your clients, each case must be evaluated independently, under supervision, to determine whether touch would be appropriate for that client.
Be mindful, not all clients are open to being touched. Those who have been violated by another’s touch, through sexual or physical abuse, might become triggered. This would cause harm. When using touch, it is best to do so sparingly.
Other ways to convey nonverbal warmth without touch include making eye contact with a soft gaze, holding your hand over your heart, or making a heart sign with your hands. Words can convey warmth and caring in place of nonverbal indicators.
Tone of Voice
Our speech demonstrates cognitive flow. Clients are also assessed nonverbally through their tone and rate of speech. Some people who experience bipolar disorder speak rapidly and loudly, while those with depressive symptoms tend to have a soft and slow rate of speech. A counselor who uses a soft, slower rate of speech may calm an agitated client. Counselors raise their voice and speak more quickly to show excitement and enthusiastic support for a client who is experiencing depression. Keep in mind that some cultures talk louder and faster as their norm. Each nonverbal cue needs to be assessed in a variety of contexts.
Self-Observation
When counselors observe and monitor their nonverbal communication, they improve their counseling skills. By using self-awareness and mindfulness, counselors gain insight into how their nonverbal behaviors affect their clients. Students learning counseling skills often record their sessions, with the client’s permission, to monitor their own nonverbal and verbal skills. This is useful to show how counselors behave in session. The counselor monitors their nonverbal behavior, how it affects the client, and makes changes as needed.
Online Communications
Although online therapy has risen in popularity and ease, it presents some barriers to viewing nonverbal cues. Instead of seeing the entire picture of your client’s body, you only look at the head, neck, and shoulders. Counselors use gestures, smiles, and eye contact to convey meaning. When you communicate via text, message boards, or email, there is no context for nonverbal cues. Counselors and clients have conveyed nonverbal communication online through emojis. Some examples are the thumbs-up symbol or a smile.
Online communications, such as text messages and emails, can lead to misunderstandings for both the counselor and the client. This leads some clients to project or fill in the missing information with their perceptions. Childress from The Journal of Internet Research states:
Interactive text-based communication involves the loss of the nonverbal social cues that provide valuable contextual information in conversation and can influence the interpretation of meaning in communication. Miscommunication may therefore be more likely with interactive email communication. The loss of physical social cues may also increase the client’s tendency to project personal psychological material onto the blankness of cyberspace communication. This enhanced tendency toward projection of personal material in text-based communication may be helpful in some forms of psychotherapeutic interventions, and it may offer distinct advantages over in-person communication as well as a potential risk for increased miscommunication.
Lisa Hutchison, LMHC
Writer & Contributing ExpertLisa Hutchison, LMHC, is a licensed mental health counselor for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. She works for professionals who want to treat and prevent compassion fatigue. With over 20 years of psychotherapy experience, she helps her clients assert themselves, set boundaries, and increase their coping skills. Her specialty is decreasing stress, anxiety, and depression while increasing realistic methods of self-care for those who help others. Ms. Hutchison’s psychological advice has been featured in Reader’s Digest and the Huffington Post. Her articles have been published in numerous magazines, including Grief Digest and Today’s Caregiver.
Lisa is the bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and a faculty member writer for NetCE. Her latest continuing education unit publication is “Setting Ethical Limits for Caring and Competent Professionals.” She has taught creative writing in colleges and presented on boundaries for the compassionate helper; the use of expressive art to heal grief, anxiety, and depression; inspirational and motivational topics; and creative writing techniques.